In any case, I am rambling again. Back to my boss.
Approximately 2 years ago my boss informed me that it was inappropriate to wear brown shoes with a suit, as I was accustomed to, and that he was willing to pay for half of a pair of new black lace-ups if I was prepared to make the purchase.
Now, you must understand two things:
Firstly, I am a great believer in extracting as much value from the workplace as possible. My employer, as most employers, believes that the blood of the workers lubricates the machinery of capitalism. Any opportunity in separating my boss from his money will be pursued with earnest.
Secondly, I am not a fan of black shoes with suits. I feel that there are other more suitable colours to be worn with navy, grey or charcoal suits. Black suits obviously are the exception, however these are too funereal for the workplace.
Thirdly, my boss is not the exemplification of sartorial splendour. He comes from farming stock somewhere in Iowa. Not to cast aspersions on the fashion habits of Iowans, but we're talking more John Deere than Tom Ford.
I purchased a pair of expensive black shoes and duly claimed my 50% co-contribution from my boss, to the bemusement of many.
Unfortunately a condition had been attached to the 50% contribution - if my boss caught me wearing my brown shoes again, a fine of A$10 was to be levied as 'No brown in Town' duty.
Triumphant, after receiving the contribution, I hastily agreed.
With hindsight, I'm not sure why agreed to the entire arrangement. Yes, I ended up with a heavily discounted pair of new shoes, but a pair of shoes in a colour that offended me, and that I was financially obligated to wear to work. My extensive collection of brown shoes were falling into a state of dereliction.
This was my last fine - I have now repaid the entire amount originally contributed by my boss, and perhaps could lay claim to being a part owner of the new pair of overalls he insists on wearing on dress down Fridays.
With black shoes of course.
